Gone

Today is the 20th day he's gone. Sometimes it's hard to believe he's gone. I mean whenever i'm at home, when I look at his bed and his space, it seems unreal that he's gone. I kept thinking about the last weekend I'm with him, three days before he's gone..

"Ba, Shima nak balik dah ni. Nanti minggu depan Shima balik lagi"

In a weak voice he says, " Chek nak pi mana? Ba nak mati dah ni. Tangan ni dah sakit sgt ni"

"Ish, jgn cakap mcm tu ba. Tak baik. Dugaan Allah tu sakit"

I saw a tear falling from his eyes. He ask me to rub his hand slowly. The hand are all swollen..

I saw him closed his eyes and go to sleep. That was the last time ....I talk to him...

All of my family are redha. The saddest moment was when we are doing the kapan. We kissed him and touch him for the last time. I kissed and touch him several time before his face are closed. I have never seen my elder brother cried before. Then was the only time I did saw him crying... In my heart, I know he's going to a far more better place and he's ready for it...